Story time.
It all starts last night before I went to bed. Each night I need to take a laxative because of my unresponsive bowels lately. Currently I have three different kinds of laxatives but I usually only take one each night. Last night however, I took all three. One kind is just the regular fiber laxative, another is a morning and night regulator, and one is a Brazilian specialty called "lacto purga." So yeah.
Fast forward to approximately one thirty in the morning. I woke up with the worst stomach ache ever. I am a deep sleeper so for me to wake up from a hard sleep from a stomach ache is a little unusual. I went to the bathroom to relieve this pain but nothing happened. So I went back to bed and found a comfortable position to fall back asleep in.
Now its a little before six in the morning. Bud comes in to my room to wake me up for a jog. My stomach was alright but gurgling a lot. I didn't think much of it. As soon as we started running though, let me tell you. It felt like a Guatemalan landslide inside me. And it was just sliding on down... (my colon) while I was running. So I thought about different options in my head. Either I would have to turn around and go back home, or I would drop a bomb in my shorts, or I would have to squat in the street somewhere. All of these options seemed uncomfortable. But I just kept running so I knew the first option was just out of reach. It finally started inching out and I couldn't run normal anymore so I told Bud I had to go really really bad. I think he could tell something was wrong because my hand was desperately trying to block the inevitable. So he told me to go behind a broken wall over on the other side of the street and I scurried over there with my knees practically crossed.
I will not give details of what came out but lets just keep the analogy of the landslide. Then Bud threw some leaves as long as my index finger and wide as a box of raisins and I used them. (Thanks Bud, they actually worked better than having nothing!) After that the explosive pain in my stomach ceased and we finished our run. I was laughing because if I would have seen myself running the way I was before... I would have grabbed a camera...
I spent some time in the shower when I got back.
The upside is that my bowels are indeed working! Woo! And what a great story for the kids!
